Transformers 3 Dark of the Moon started out with a bang; it was clear that a movie like this was made for the new advances in CGI. The Transformers Home World of Cybertron couldn’t have been rendered more spectacularly, with the battle for a dying world reaching a computer-animated climax that promised more arresting visuals were to come.

Despite the fact that the visuals did come – especially for those who saw it in 3-D – the movie didn’t quite pan out. It was a hodgepodge of incessant humor, unnecessary characters, and dubious character motivations. I never thought I would say this, but the only redeeming quality of Revenge of the Fallen was the presence of the departed actress Megan Fox and her rapport with Sam. This was entirely absent in Dark of the Moon, as new actress Rosie Huntington-Whiteley just didn’t seem believable in the girlfriend role.

Now long after a near-lingerie scene, Sam’s (played by an overacting Shia Labeouf) parents come to visit him in the lavish apartment he shares with his new girlfriend, Carly – and the filmmakers pounced on an opportunity to take a bit of a pot-shot at Megan Fox in the film – on a tour bus, of all things. Dressed like mild rappers, if there is such a thing. Sam is in somewhat of a crisis, looking for a job under the expectant gaze of his father, Ron Witwicky (played by actor Kevin Dunn), and is in fact on his way to a job interview, much to the disappointment of Ron, who strongly feels that he should have one by now. Other than the Transformers, themselves, Dark of the Moon was quickly becoming forgettable.

About half-an-hour into the film, we finally meet a Transformer that wasn’t solely into making jokes: A humongous subterranean creature called Driller, who was actually a pet of a more fearsome Decepticon called Shockwave. Shockwave is the big bastard shown in the Transformers trailer leading up to the movie, with a single glaring red robot eye and a gun the size of a jet attached to his arm. Strangely, despite the hyping of Shockwave as the ultimate bas dude, he was dispatched rather easily by Optimus Prime, who sent him back to slag along with his skyscraper-crushing slug.

It wasn’t always easy to tell what was happening in Dark of the Moon and, on a second viewing, I found out why: the ceaseless attempts at humor. They really got in the way of the story, and didn’t mesh with it, as a good film would. On a personal note, the death of Optimus Prime’s oldest warrior friend, Ironhide, should have been more significant.



Rest In Peace, Ironhide

Another grating problem in the film was the sheer lack of likability of Sam; he mentions that he saved humanity several times throughout the film, which is a trait audiences don’t generally warm to in their heroes. As a watcher of the entire collection of Transformers’ films to date, it appeared to me that the Autobots saved the world….with Sam’s help; not the other way around.

In sum; Transformers 3 Dark of the Moon was a massive effort that ultimately fell quite short of both promises (the last script was blamed on the Writer’s Strike; who do we blame for this one?) and expectations. As always, it the story had everything to do with it. Until next time, I suppose.

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